The SEX Trap:

Few things do both Christians and unbelievers struggle with today more than sex. We are inundated with advertisements using "sex" to sell everything from kitchen cabinets to rugged trucks to women's clothing. We have gone from the "I love Lucy" image of marriage with married couples sleeping in separate beds to present day reality shows featuring church pastors sleeping with members of their congregations without shame or conviction.

As a Christian, I am quite troubled with 96% plus of believers embracing worldly justification for sex outside of marriage behind the guise of "we're engaged" or dating with the intention of marriage which seems to be the trend in recent years.

Before I continue, let me make it clear that my purpose in addressing this topic is not to shame or cause a guilt trip. My concern is that the secular humanist society we live in and which dominates our media, marketing and education is starting to have a greater influence on believers than does Scripture. Even many of our churches avoid stressing the biblical view of sex and marriage and instead deliver a watered down gospel void of the true transforming power of Scripture. Churches, however, are not the only culprit. We have become a society both socially and within the family that has lost the art of slowing down even for reflective personal or family prayer time minimizing the necessity of examining the Scriptures and the once important role of personal application and accountability. We are raising children and young adults in schools and governments that have eliminated the need for God. Ipads, iphones, digital audio Bibles, and messages on YouTube along with the endless availability of study tools at the tips of our fingertips via the Internet has for most Christians replaced the Spiritual discipline of rising early and seeking out God's Presence and transforming power.

We have fallen for relativist arguments that it is old-fashioned and purity before marriage no longer applies to Christians today and as a result we have both young and old people who think that petting, casual sex or friends with benefits is perfectly acceptable. We have allowed pornography and sexual perversions of every type in our homes and even the traditional view of male-female partnerships have come under attack. Is it any wonder that divorce rates, teenage pregnancy, family violence, mental health issues, and other crippling social epidemics have invaded Christian communities and the family system without prejudice.

As a Christian Counselor, I have had countless opportunities to examine with married couples the origin of unfilled and failing covenant relationships and most often the Enemy has begun his work before a couple has the chance to say "I do". Over time, consistent compromises are made in regards to sexual sin and promises to "not let it happen again" are made. Because of the shame involved, few share their struggles outside their courtship turning this very critical and vulnerable time in building a solid foundation for the future into a cover-up of deceit. Sadly, this scenario is hardly the exception today with both single Christians and Christian couples struggling with sexual sin. This should really come at no surprise to us since we have a very real enemy who hates god and who hate marriage because it depicts the Gospel (Eph. 5:32). When a persons sexual urges before marriage are dealt with by consistently giving into to their own desires, they will carry that pattern into the grit of daily marriage and family life. This is deadly since sacrifice and selflessness are imperative to a Christ-honoring marriage where we are called a thousand times a day to selfless sacrificial decisions to do what you don't want to do - whether it's watching a movie instead of a football game, watching grandchildren for the weekend or doing dishes.

The Enemy (Satan) often succeeds by getting Christians to underestimate how susceptible they are to temptation. The old saying "Pride comes before the fall" is played out in relationships by cunningly and deceptively making us believe the lie that we are stronger than we really are or that we will never go that far. One of the most powerful tricks the enemy uses is by tempting people into believing that purity is a not to-be-crossed-line. He wants people to think that if you don't cross a certain line such as oral sex or going all the way that they have remained sexually purse. The old "how far is too far" may reveal a desire to get as close to sins as possible instead of a desire to honor and respect the Christ in the other person.

If you are someone close to you is struggling with any type of sexual sin, I urge you to contact us today. There is no temptation that you are facing that many others haven't faced and with accountability and professional help can be conquered in Christ.