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Spiritual Abuse: Misquoted, Distorted and Abuse Scriptures
Sadly, as if there wasn't a large enough arsenal of cruel, controlling, manipulative behaviors at an abusers disposal; both men and women, especially of the Christian faith, often take specific verses out of context in order to justify their own wrongdoing. In doing so, they heap additional false guilt and shame on their wives or partners. Behind the guise of spiritual leadership and Biblical mandates of masculine headship in the family; emotionally, psychologically, financially broken spirited wives are further berated into a false “submission” by Scripture verses distorted to justify their partners behavior.
Scriptures such as Eph. 5:22-23 “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church” and 1 Peter 3:1-7 “In the same way, wives, be subject to your own husbands, then, even if some are disobedient to the Word, they will be won over without a word by the way you live …. But the inner person of the heart, the last beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in God’s sight. For in the same way the holy women who hoped in God long ago adorned themselves by being subject to their husband, like Sarah who obeyed Abraham calling him Lord. You become her children when you do what is good and have no fear in doing so. Husbands, in the same way, treat your wives with consideration, as the weakest partners and show them honor as fellow heirs of the Grace of life.” further cause wives in quiet surrender to wither spiritually feeling shamed and as failures before God. Despite all the progress the American culture has made in gender-based equality, the Body of Christ continues to further fail women by not clearly teaching entire families the proper application of these Scriptures. For example, through biblical exegesis, we can certainly understand the comparison of women with slaves; but God is not calling women literally “a weaker vessel” but intends to say that women have been given by God a tenderness that men so often lack. Furthermore, I Peter 3:3-6 taken in context with other Scriptures shows us that a wife’s submission, or quiet and gentle spirit is not from intimidation but from a quiet confidence which is the fruit of the Spirit and the result of trusting in God. Submission is meant in these verses as a voluntary cooperation out of love and respect for God and her spouse. When taught properly, submission is hardly a task when one’s husband is daily dying to himself so that his entire being is sacrificed to live a life that honors and shows selfless love to his wife as Christ did for us. Jumping backwards for a moment to Genesis where God takes a rib to create a “helpmeet” for Adam is also a popular verse abusers or men in jest use to imply subordination of the female gender; yet, in Hebrew the two words that "help meet" are derived from are the words "ezer" and the word 'k’enegdo". Ezer which is commonly translated as “help” is actually a combination of two roots one meaning “to rescue”, “to save”, and the other meaning “to be strong”. They have traditionally been interpreted together as “to help”. The noun “Ezer” occurs 21 times in the Hebrew Bible and used to describe the saving characteristics of God. Eve, woman, was clearly in this context created and intended for more than companionship or as man’s “helper”. Woman was created and referred to from the beginning in “Genesis” as man’s complete mirror opposite possessing the other half of the qualities, attributes, and responsibilities so that together, in Christ, they possess all the divine characteristics of their Creator. I didn’t plan to get so of course with this article; however, I can’t help but think how different our world and society would be if both men and women truly understood and saw themselves created equally in the Image of God. How different my own life and that of so many women would be had we been taught Our Creator intended & equipped us to be so much more than a “help meet or mate”. Could you for one moment imagine a world where the Body of Christ valued woman and raised them to perceive themselves other than an “after thought”. Perhaps, in addition to the many reasons that domestic violence is so prevalent in ALL & EVERY CHURCH, is that we need to get back to the doctrinal basics of judging ourselves and one another according to God’s standard. Then we can remember how utterly sinful and evil we all are. Every one of us, outside of Christ, hopeless and in need of His Mercy, destined for hell. Maybe, then it won’t shock us to realize how much deceit there really is within our own church walls. Maybe, just maybe, we could clean house on the inside to make room for those who know they are sinners but don’t yet have the hope we have taken for granted. By taking God’s great gift of salvation for granted, it has become a covering or cover up abusers hide behind and in doing so deny it’s power and ability to reveal, redeem & restore. Perhaps the greatest Scriptures we have come to distort are those that reveal our true nature along with the responsibility of the leadership within the Body of Christ to hold individuals accountable. With accountability comes repentance. With no accountability, there is no light shed on the darkness which lurks in each one of us. Given the opportunity to breed in silence, generations pass as it takes generations to breed an abuser with such manipulation. From Genesis to Revelation, despite cultural perversions through the ages, God never treated woman or created woman to be subordinate to man. The Book of Galatians so clearly reminds us that we are all equal in Christ. Not just male and female, but whether parent or child, rich or poor, uneducated or educated…in Christ, we are all equal. Just as in Genesis, God created man and woman equally in His Image, outside of Christ, we are all equally deserving of hell. Humanity in its pride has decided which evil is more tolerable than the next. Our legal laws evolve as our perceived rights evolve and just as the world continues to lower moral standards for society using “tolerance” as it’s justification, the Body of Christ and has minimized the greatest deceit & evil within its own walls (Domestic Violence) prostituting the Grace of Christ which was gifted to us at the highest possible price. We do not see because we choose not to see. We rather pick and choose of the knowledge presented to us and tell ourselves and each other that this travesty of injustice festers among the poor, or in the ghettos, or among those with substance addictions or visible behavioral disabilities. Christians hold on to the Word of God as long as it propels them to some selfish gain, while the heart of the Gospels doesn’t call for sacrifice but mercy, love & healing to the “least of these”. “The least of these” certainly means the precious children and women who have been silenced by the very men they entrusted their lives, their future, their safety too. Christ’s suffering had a purpose. It was redemptive. It had an end. The teaching of suffering has been distorted and used as a convenient covering to keep the vilest perpetrators from accountability and the victims silenced without hope. Leadership within the walls we call “Church” have attempted to create their own standards of which and to what degree a members sin is accountable to the rest of the body. Domestic Violence…an internal infection…deceit at its best, thrives in this environment because VIOLENCE seems too harsh of a word for abuse that is not physical. Church and other community congregations quickly dismiss the thought of abusers thriving within their midst. As long as there are no physical signs such as unexplained bruising, broken bones, swollen eyes or repeated emergency room visits; the horror that most abuse victims live with is rarely acknowledged, recognized, or spoken about. There seems to be a “Holy Hush” when it comes to topic of domestic violence. As most spiritual leaders and even congregation members nod and sigh in agreement that domestic violence is destroying more and more families in epidemic proportions, there appears to be a disconnect when confronted with the notion that the same men they worship, preach, socialize, respect, and confide in, go home to beat and berate their wives and children. How grieved God must be that the gender He creator to treasure the other, uses His Own Word to not only negate their value; but to cause abuse, terror and fear.
